Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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