dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Found the puke drawer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
