I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
