Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
