woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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