I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
