Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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