On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
