so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
