Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
