i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
