I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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