Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
