why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
