I got chris browned last night
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
