Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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