I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
