Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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