He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize