And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
