I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
