I accidentally had phone sex last night
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
