There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
