It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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