You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
