If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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