school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
