new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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