We're like a lot better than the average bears
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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