If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
