You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
