god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I want a musical about memes.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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