Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
