I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
