i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
