coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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