Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
