ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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