remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
