So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
