So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I think I am morally bankrupt
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
