ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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