I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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