Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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