At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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