she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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