Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
