I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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