i don't plan on having that self control this summer
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
