He told me they were just razor bumps!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
