Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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